The Western Man: A Perspective

I dare not attempt to describe the thoughts or the feelings of Western Men. I will leave that undertaking to those who are, or claim to be, much more insightful in that respect. My personal view is that people are different, right down to each and every individual person, and that it is a mistake to generalize about them, especially when it comes to talking about relationships.

What I can offer are a few thoughts that are derived from interacting with many Western men who are involved in or are thinking about becoming involved in a relationship with a woman from Asia. These women often live in China or Vietnam or Thailand or Korea, and sometimes from other countries in Asia.

Many times the Western men who I have met, or of whom I am aware, are accomplished in business or in other walks of life. Many times the Western men are smart and capable, honest and honorable, with pure intentions.

This kind of man usually has choices in life, including the choice about whether to marry in his own country, or to marry a woman from another country. While there is certainly no guarantee that a man of this type will be a good and loving husband, the kind of man I am talking about will not be involved in mistreating or taking advantage of a woman, whether or not she is from another country. This kind of man will be a good father if there is a child or children involved. If the relationship doesn't work out as intended, this kind of man will do everything possible to help ensure that the woman he married will not suffer because of their mutual mistake.

Too often, unfortunately, the Western man who is pursuing a relationship with a woman from another country is not the best example of what Western countries have to offer. This is just my opinion, and I don't sit in moral judgment of these men. I do, however, have strong feelings that what they are doing is wrong.

It sickens me if I learn that a Western man has the idea that he will marry an Asian woman, believing that she will be or should be submissive, and that he can treat her as he wishes. It both sickens and angers me when I learn that a Western man has brought a woman to America and then abuses her physically and verbally, essentially holding her hostage through threats of sending her back to her home country in disgrace.

I am not naïve, but I like to believe that anyone who reads or is inspired by our story is a good person. I hope that any Western man who reads our story shares my belief that women deserve to be treated with love and respect no matter what country they might be from, and no matter what he believes her cultural upbringing might allow. If you don't feel this way, I urge you to reconsider your motives. Be honest. Be fair. Be respectful. She deserves it.

Lee Solomon