The Alien Spouse: A Perspective

Ni Hao. My name is Ping. I live in Houston, Texas with my husband and teenage daughter. I am originally from Shandong Province, in China, but I lived in Guangzhou, China, for about twelve years.

My daughter and I came to America in May 2008, and I married my husband in June 2008. We knew each other for about two years before we married. He came to China on four long trips to spend time with me and my family.

I have been fortunate to meet many Chinese women in America, and I am writing to introduce myself to you. I hope that we will be able to meet some day. Things have gone very well for us in America. My daughter and I are very, very happy. Our family is so nice, and my daughter is doing well in high school. I hope things have also gone well for you and your family if you are also in America, and I would enjoy hearing from you about your experience.

I am also writing to you because my husband is a lawyer, and he likes to write. He wrote a book about our story and our family. Many Chinese women have found it to be helpful and encouraging for them, and many American men have said it has given them a whole new perspective on their relationship with their Chinese wife or fiancée.

If you know of a Chinese woman (or for that matter, a Western man) who you think might benefit from reading our story, please tell her (or him) about it. She can order our book from this website or from www.amazon.com and the other major booksellers if she wants to read it. If it is a Chinese woman who is still working to improve her English skills, reading our book will help her accomplish that goal.

I will offer a word of caution to both men and women.

I have met Chinese women in America who are not happy here. I have met Chinese women who have been beaten and otherwise abused by their American husband. On the other hand, I have read words written by Chinese women who openly disclose that their only purpose in pursuing a relationship with a Western man is so that they can leave their own country.

My point is that one must be careful, because I believe there are good people and bad people everywhere. My daughter and I were very lucky, but we were also very careful.

I hope you do not find my words to be too forward. Perhaps I have already been influenced to adopt some Western ways, but inside I am still the same traditional Chinese woman who I have been since birth. So please accept my apology if I have somehow offended you.

Yanping Dai Solomon